Friday, November 19, 2004

There comes a point where you're barrelling down the freeway at speeds which are completely in excess of the local speed limit; when you've got half the counties law enforcement funnelled up behind you; when the only opposing choices you have open to you are to either drive the car or shoot the gun; when actually what you end up doing is driving the car AND shooting the gun; when the hostage has stopped screaming and is now just sobbing in thick bubbling snotty terror. There comes a point, when all you can do is look slowly around you and think. I've seen this before. In a film. Starring Bruce Willis.

God. I love Thursdays.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Shopping List
organic carrots
potatos - big bag
minced meat
washing powder
shower gel
Hydrochloric acid
Barq's Rootbeer (12-pack)

Monday, November 08, 2004

If you're a special evil clown, then you'll always lose the odd pom-pom. From the viewpoint of the victim, they're usually the only things their desparate scrabbling hands can grab onto during that final kill. That's fine. Basic Evil Clown teaching says that pom-poms are a tax deductable consumable. I've known evil clowns who weren't satisfied on a night until at least one victim had managed to hold onto at least one blood soaked wool ball.

For me, it's different. I hate sewing the damn things back on, and I hate it when they come off. For years I tried nylon thread, but that never worked, and for a while I've been tipping the pom-pom threads with poisoned needles. This works to a degree, but there's always somebody who'll ignore the pain in order that they collect that extra bit of "evidence".

Who knows. I really hate it when the pom-poms come off, and I'm getting to that point where I'll try anything. If anybody has any ideas, could they please email them to the usual address.